marked by love

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Some thoughts on Friday the 13th –

I don’t want to be gripped by fear.

In my faith and suffering class, we wrestle with hard questions about God’s sovereignty, providence, lament, and (physical) suffering. Our professor cautions us from being so consumed with saying the “right things” to people that we are overcome by that. That we wouldn’t pray because we’re too afraid to pray the wrong things, even.

You are God. You are Holy. You are worthy.

But I have been gripped by fear lately. Fear when my housemate talks about the death of her grandmother. Fear as the campus grieves the death of the librarian, and mourns with a long-standing faculty member with his cancer diagnosis.

I don’t want to be gripped by fear.

Perfect love casts out fear.

Fear of insecurity. Fear that God doesn’t love me [enough]. Fear that I will never be able to please my parents

I receive the Love You have for me.

I’ve been thinking about God’s sovereignty lately. My little armchair theologian high schooler self would be disgusted at where I am now. I am prone to doubt that God’s sovereign.

I place my life inside Your hands.

Especially with this week – the bigotry popping up among colleges around the country, the earthquake in Japan, the attacks in Paris and Beirut – my Newsfeed is filled with people saying “God is soverign” and I hear people praising God for how gracious He is. I know that God is gracious. I know that God is sovereign, but it’s getting harder to believe it. It’s getting harder to believe as while people testify to how gracious God is during wrecks, I ask God why He didn’t stop the wreck in the first place. I know my theology. But I know my emotions too.

I’m laying down all my religion. I’m laying down, I want to know You Lord.

God loves me and God knows me and God will be good. I’m grabbing onto these simple truths. Even when I don’t understand, even when I fear that people will be more hateful than they already are after the events of today, I rejoice that God is King and He knows the world better than I ever will.

I lay every burden down.

We really are able to look into God’s face. There’s no separation between Abba God and us.

Abba God got this.

Abba God is more about love than I ever will be.

I don’t want to be reductionist, but I trust in God.

Yes, I am currently listening to some atypical Friday night United Pursuit livestream filled with glory bombs. I’m not being really holy and God is not speaking special revelation to me.

I keep wondering what the Church would be if we knew that we are marked by love, and we live out of that. There are Covenant students who are honestly very pro-America and anti-world, yet very much love Jesus. There are also Covenant students who are willing to ask the hard questions that disgust those students.

What happens when we are marked by love?

Come upon the yoke of Jesus, His yoke is easy and burden is so light.

When we are marked by love, there is absolutely no fear in us. We have a River in us, and that River will overflow in the name of Love.

When we are marked by love, we live fully as ambassadors of the Kingdom of God. We do Kingdom work on earth, because we have already been accepted into that Kingdom and reaped its benefits.

When we are marked by love, maybe our own attitudes will change. Our complaining will turn into thankfulness. We will see God’s faithfulness in our weaknesses. Slander will turn into exhortation. Our weeping will turn into joy. The Holy Spirit will be our guide.

Our fear will turn into love when we are marked by love, and social media will no longer be our idol or our standard because we have a kingdom standard 🙂

We won’t know what micro-aggressions are, and cultural appropriations will cease.

God has been so kind to us.

God has been so gracious to us.

God has been so good to us.

And so we shall rejoice.

And I am able to pray.

Praise the One who has saved me from death. He is God, He is good, He is Jesus.

God, you are God in every corner of this earth. You are God in Paris. In Your mercy, would You hear their cries? Would You hear our prayers.

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