on being single and my growing love for coffee

It’s really hard going to a small, private, Christian college – especially this year, as many of my friends are juniors and seniors and are either in serious relationships or engaged. My parents keep asking me, “When are you going to find a boyfriend?” and where is all this pressure coming from? This conservative Christian circle and its #ringbyspring/have 4 kids by 30/wives are only good for being stay at home moms standard, I feel we deserve more than this.

But I digress. Today, even, there has been three engagements which were noted on Facebook – two Covenant students, and another girl that I met working at HOPE. I know of soon-to-be another from Covenant. There were four pairs of engagements during Thanksgiving break.

I enjoy being at Sojourn. Even though it is mostly couples, there is no pressure to be married early, despite it falling in basically the same circle as Covenant. And it’s amazing being friends with the older people who are single, and seeing that they are not constrained by their singleness.

A faculty member at Covenant once gave a chapel talk about why she relished being single.

I want to be married someday. Would that be different if I didn’t have Facebook, and if I went to a very liberal university?

I dreamed of being married [before/soon after] I graduated from undergrad. The former isn’t going to happen and I doubt the latter will happen.

I keep resting in my Dad’s promise that He is a good, good Father. It’s getting easier and easier to realize that He delights in who I am. Maybe one day I can spend all day listening to that song with someone while drinking good pourover coffee in the mountains overlooking some v Instagram-worthy photo-esque scene and talking about how good the most recent sermon was and then praying….for a long time….because we are so caught up in God just as we are so caught up with each other. And then we dream of ways to end human trafficking and racial injustice and go do that in our various callings.

It’s late. I’m clearly so full of myself right now. Today is Christmas Eve.

A culture like that of Covenant’s makes it so hard to remain content.


I’ve found myself being more of a coffee snob lately. I’d like to think that I’m on my way to becoming a coffee connoisseur. While at Covenant, I usually get my coffee from my Keurig, French Press, or the Psych Commons. My mom gave me an Aeropress for my birthday and I started thinking more about coffee. I mean, it’s a known fact at school that I love coffee; moreover, I love black coffee. Explains my hyperness. Anyways, I started thinking about the process of making coffee, but then I brushed that interest aside for the time being because of finals.

However, a few days before finals started, I received my Reddit Secret Santa/Holiday Cards gift. Long story short, I participated in a huge online Secret Santa exchange, but I also participated in an exchange where you send holiday cards to another stranger. My Holiday Cards Santa got confused and thought he was supposed to send me gifts as well. So he did. But he didn’t just send me a ‘gift’, he sent me three gifts valued around $100: Donald Miller’s new book Scary Close, a 4 pack of Pomegranate White Tea, and a Chemex. I screamed that day in a public lobby. It was also the day of my Sojourn membership interview which I had waited for close to 2 years for. Sojourn also uses a Chemex to make coffee on Sundays. It has done so since it’s inception 3 years ago. The coffee never disappoints.

A Chemex is like a legend in the coffee world. It demands much from you, but it also promises great rewards. However, my Chemex came without filters, which meant all hope of embarking upon the process of being a coffee connoisseur would be lost until Christmas break. I tried to buy filters around town, but I bought the wrong size filters at one store, got denied filters at a coffee shop because they were running low, and I need to study for finals. I hope I passed my classes this semester.

I tried making coffee with the smaller filters. The first batch tasted like octopus excrete. The second batch tasted okay, but it had the you’re-not-using-the-right-materials-for-this taste.

Upon coming home and a few futile searches, I finally embarked upon the promised land – 6 cup Chemex filters at Sur La Table!

What ensued has reminded me of If You Give a Mouse a Cookie and If You Give a Pig a Pancake.

I’ll summarize my past few days in the form of a short story: If You Give a Chinese Coffee Connoisseur a Chemex. Some parts might be slightly exaggerated.

If you give a Chinese coffee connoisseur a Chemex, she’ll spend hours making a mess in the kitchen attempting to make coffee grinding beans with a blender.

After her parents yell at her for making a mess in the kitchen, she’ll be disappointed by her sub-par coffee and spend hours online looking for the best way to make coffee without buying connoisseur-standard equipment.

After spending hours online trying to find a budget-friendly solution, she’ll come to the conclusion that the only way is to buy all the equipment.

After emptying her life savings and coming to the conclusion that what she is about to do is worth it, she’ll spend all day looking for a burr grinder.

After buying a hand grinder, she’ll begin making much better-tasting coffee, but then wish that she had a gooseneck kettle like she sees on Instagram and at hipster coffee shops.

After ordering a gooseneck kettle on Amazon, the kettle will arrive and she’ll end up making three batches of very yummy coffee between the hours of 5pm and 8pm with both an Aeropress and a Chemex, and she’ll wish that she had a proper scale.




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