I am currently on my, wait for it, LAST semester of undergrad. It’s a bizarre feeling. I have this vague sentiment of accomplishment, because I mean, I did finish two minors and I’m finishing up a particularly difficult major. But then it’s bizarre because what’s the use of an international studies degree if I can’t do anything with it?
I don’t know what I’m going to do guys, and a year of my life is chipped away every time someone asks me that. And trust me, I get that question quite a bit.
Second semester senior year is very difficult. I’m expected to wrap up my time at Covenant nicely in a bow and smoothly transition to the next stage in life. Yet, there are so many people I want to get to know at Covenant. There are so many books I want to read from the library. There are so many restaurants and coffee shops I want to spend my non-existent pool of money at. I’m spending my final weeks at the quirky and growing church that I’ve called home since freshman year. Oh, and I’m expected to write a senior thesis. My topic of choice is studying national legislatures in Latin American democracies and associating female election rate. Riveting, I know. I brought it upon myself. My first complete draft is due Wednesday and I currently have 16 pages out of 30 something. Yikes, guys. I have three other classes too, with two having an insurmountable amount of work. However, I only have classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays (Addiction, Trinitarian Theology, International Security), so I need to maximize my time instead of sulking in my workload. I’m going to look back in 5 years and wish I spent this glorious last semester better.
I wonder what our lives would be like if we were known for who we are and not our achievements. I have close friends constantly bragging about new job possibilities and friends casually bragging about getting offered a six figure job, and sometimes I just get disillusioned. At the beginning of the year, I saw a tweet from a good friend (s/o to you J) who said that his New Year’s resolution was to be happier for their friend’s successes than they are. But that’s so hard. Yet I’d be in a much different mood.
What’s been on my heart lately? Besides everything I just said?
let justice flow down like a mighty river
I’ve been to a few marches and rallies this semester. I’ve discovered the wonder of Saturday Night Live (SNL). I’m struggling at how to be that justice warrior that I know I am, when people on one side criticize those who spent all their time talking about issues, but those on the other side criticize those who spend all their marching and going about action.
I’m learning to embrace my speech [disability], and to somehow be even bolder.
I’m leaning into Abba like never before. I know that I am His and He is mine. And He is so good, so so good to me.